Joanne pushed herself and found her limits. She has learned to take better care of herself.
Transcript
I think my mom is really lucky to have someone like me, who’s so devoted to her. I think sometimes she realizes that, and she tells me she appreciates it, but I look ahead to myself when I’m her age and I’m thinking, “Wow, what’s my situation going to be?”, which makes me think.
[…] Personally it’s been a huge learning experience. I think the fact that I became closer to my mom during this time, and some old hurts, and everyone has some in their family with their parents. There are things that are resented or previous things that happened, so we really had a chance to go forward a little bit. And that’s a good feeling because I feel that when she does pass away, we’ve come to know each other, not mother/daughter, but as people a little bit more. The other lesson for me is just in getting to know myself a little bit better. And I think it took the experience of getting to a burnout to make that really hit me—to see to what point I will push myself without taking care of myself. That, I can really do that well and that’s a real danger for me, with huge consequences. And that’s for me to explore the reasons why I do that, why I’m motivated that way, and what’s influencing that—that’s me. I think I have come a long way with that, and just seeing how that theme runs through me, and to begin to make some changes—like, I have been trying to make sure that I am part of the agenda, and in little ways maybe. Someone else listening to this might say, “What? She goes for a walk? What’s the big deal?”
More from: Joanne (A)
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- Travelling, holidays and respite – Joanne (A)For Joanne, sending her mother to a respite program isn’t an option; her mother would not be able to cope.
- Home care and live-in caregivers – Joanne (A)Joanne’s mother has yet to receive any support; they are still on a waiting list.
- Caring for yourself – Joanne (A)Joanne acknowledges that she doesn’t prioritize her own needs enough. She will start to plan more time for herself.
- Impact on professional life and career – Joanne (A)Joanne needs flexible hours to check-in on her mother, which affects her career choices.
- Personal growth and transformation – Joanne (A)Joanne pushed herself and found her limits. She has learned to take better care of herself.
- Providing support – Joanne (A)While each task is reasonable on its own, it’s the accumulation of many small tasks that Joanne finds challenging.
- Advice for other caregivers – Joanne (A)Joanne compares caregiving to a locomotive that is pulling a train. You need fuel; otherwise the train stops.
- Advice for friends and family – Joanne (A)